Ta Da!

The living room looks amazing! I love it! It looks much more organized and clean. Actually cleaning is a lot easier now too! I eliminated a lot of clutter and bulk and even created a faux office in my living room! Not too complicated!  I must admit most of the great ideas came from my sister. She has just always had a different way of looking at things. So with that chore all done it was time to scratch one more item off my list; date night with my hubby. We wanted to go out to dinner to a restaurant we had never been to before but funds were low and we had to improvise. So we called up a sitter for the kids and had an evening in. We made nachos, (Jose's idea) , and we shared one of those small individual servings of cake they sell at the bakery. It was so relaxing and refreshing. I remember when Jose finally got the kids packed up and left to take them to Grandma's house, I literally started giggling to myself. I felt a little silly at first but  I couldn't stop! I was a great night and we decided we need more of those kinds of nights. We just sat together on the sofa enjoying our quiet and empty house! It was so therapeutic and we really connected. I would recommend it for any young couple with kids. It was cheap, simple and totally worth it! 

Here are the pics of the living room! BEFORE....

 AFTER......

 We moved the desk into a new corner of the room and it created a seperate office space in the loving room.

 I unclutered the bookself and left room on the bottom to stash Lili's toys.

Three Weeks to Beautiful!

OK! My sister and I are starting in the living room on Tuesday. We need to start baby-proofing that room anyway because Lili is starting to roll her way around the room and she just can't wait to get her hands on Mommy's breakables! I have been looking all over online and have come up with a few good ideas on how to bring some class and beauty to my home on a next-to-nothing budget. I will take a before and after picture of our project and then those who like it can comment and or suggest new ideas. I have the next three weeks off until the new school year starts and I really want to get the house in order before I go back. Keeping in mind that I rent the trailer I live in I can't paint the walls or anything drastic like that. I would if I could but I did come up with an idea for covering the walls without doing anything permanent. I am going to hang light colored curtains over some ghastly wood panelling in the living room to brighten it up. I am excited about what we will be able to accomplish and I know with my sister's help it will turn out great.(She has always been the organized sister.) Yay! Yay! I can't wait to show you!

When life gets ya down....

Gosh! Keeping things positive is killing me!!! I'm trying to get my life on track and live and be the kind of woman I want to be, but this is getting hard. I have had some very good days but lately the hits just keep on coming. The bills are the most predominant on my mind. Being a school bus driver means that I'm off in the summer. I work a summer school route but that is onlt 9 hours a week. We are barely scraping by this summer and to top it all off the mail just keeps bringing in the bills. This week one got sent to collections and the student loan people are threatening wage garnishments. How do I turn this around and start feeling like I am winning and not failing?
 We are a poor family who barely make ends meat but that doesn't mean I want my family to look or feel that way. I make sure my girls look nice and clean. I have recently decided that just because we are living modestly doesn't mean we have to feel like we are poor. I have found the nicest name brand clothes for my girls from Once Upon a Child. The clothes are in great condition and so many of them are from expensive brands. My girls look great and I have only spent twenty bucks! I just went there and they were having a $1 clearance sale. I bought Lorelai six new outfits! Next I'm going to be working on the house. I have champagne taste on a beer budget but I think I can devise a way to bring high style to my home on a very modest budget. Yes I think I will had that to the list. To start feeling wealthy and then maybe I will bring wealth to me and my family. I will post on what I find.

Ow.. Ow..

I started my workout routine and HOLY COW! Two days later and I can barely walk! My legs are killing me! I know it means that I successfully did the workout but still! I want to keep going . Everytime I do my exercise I feel great! A little piece of me is starting to really feel good about myself.
I let Jose plan our family outing for one day last week. Now I remember why I'm always the one who plans things! He did an ok job but he commented later that night when we were in bed that "it was hard because things kept changing. First one thing comes up and then another." Tee hee! I felt a little joy in that statement. He just doesn't realize the work that can go into a family outing! I have starting writing the next chapter in my book and I am feeling good about getting it done by October! My overall mood has inproved in the last couple of days. I think it is an endorphin high! I just feel happy. And to be honest I haven't been feeling that happy lately. I was having so many dark days that at one point i considered suicide. But my list and my goals have saved me from that selfish act. I know good things will happen in my life because they must. My life is meant to be amazing!

Got my fitness routine!

My best friend has designed a fitness routine for me and I am super excited to get started on it! I have real hope that this is something that I will stick to. The plan seems reasonable and can easily be done in the comfort of my own home. I am very lucky to have people in my life who care about me and are willing to set aside time from their busy lives to help me out in my quest for total health. I have had a tough time with my ex-husband this week and I want to recognize Jose for all he has done to support me. He stands by me and helps me through some of the darkest times I have had and still he loves me unconditionally. He is a testament to what a real man is. Strong and kind, never runs from a problem and is faithful forever. I love him so much! My girls always brighten my day and I love them so much for reminding me that life isn't just stress and bills and work. It's also about imagination and play; two things I don't do very much. I am still having a hard time separating myself from the negative that comes in my life. I let it consume me all too easily and everyday is a struggle against it. But I think as long as I have a strong support system I can beat it.

Red toenail polish

Lorelai and I painted our toenails bright red yesterday. It's nice to spend that time with her. She and I are real girlie girls. We love make up and nail polish. So we went to the store yesterday and bought new nail polish for our toes and fingers and then we plopped ourselves down on the floor and went to work. We had a blast and we are now both ready for flip flops! I made a veggie baked mosticolli this week. Jose couldn't get enough of it. I liked it but my tummy didn't!

Lorelai is my bright shining star. She is so helpful around the house and is so happy all of the time. I love her energy and enthusiasm for almost everything. She is such a special girl. I have decided that I am a good mom. Recent conversations with my ex have confirmed that. He doesn't do whats best for our daughter. And I am always raising the bar for myself and others. She deserves the very best. Sometimes I don't always reach the bar but I think my high standards are no less than what she deserves.

Winning the Battle with me

I had a tough couple of days and I feel like I have been extremely successful in keeping my thoughts positive. I had to have a tough talk with my ex about our daughter but it went surprisingly well. I feel a little renewed. I said what I felt and I didn't shrink back from what I needed to say. Doing things like this make me feel strong. Make me feel like I AM in control of my life and the things that happen to me. I also spent the entire day without any make up on my face. I decided that this should be added to the list. So today i did not put product on my hair or eyeliner on my face. I went au' naturale'! It felt good and when I saw myself in the mirror I tried to think of one positive thing about my self. I always try to cover up my very rosy cheeks. But today they were naked in public! And I thought 'hey i bet some women would kill to have these bright rosy cheeks!' I ran my fingers through my hair and thought how soft it felt and how much I like doing that. (I can't usually because I put a sculpting putty in it) The person I recognize today is my mom. She is always my moral center and my rock. Every time I feel like my world is crumbling around me she picks me up and centers me. The world always makes sense again after I talk to her. I want to be that kind of mom for my girls. I have always admired my mom and as a mom myself I have always tried to emulate her rock solid mothering techniques. The way I see it is 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it!' So thanks Mom for making my world better!