Ta Da!

The living room looks amazing! I love it! It looks much more organized and clean. Actually cleaning is a lot easier now too! I eliminated a lot of clutter and bulk and even created a faux office in my living room! Not too complicated!  I must admit most of the great ideas came from my sister. She has just always had a different way of looking at things. So with that chore all done it was time to scratch one more item off my list; date night with my hubby. We wanted to go out to dinner to a restaurant we had never been to before but funds were low and we had to improvise. So we called up a sitter for the kids and had an evening in. We made nachos, (Jose's idea) , and we shared one of those small individual servings of cake they sell at the bakery. It was so relaxing and refreshing. I remember when Jose finally got the kids packed up and left to take them to Grandma's house, I literally started giggling to myself. I felt a little silly at first but  I couldn't stop! I was a great night and we decided we need more of those kinds of nights. We just sat together on the sofa enjoying our quiet and empty house! It was so therapeutic and we really connected. I would recommend it for any young couple with kids. It was cheap, simple and totally worth it! 

Here are the pics of the living room! BEFORE....

 AFTER......

 We moved the desk into a new corner of the room and it created a seperate office space in the loving room.

 I unclutered the bookself and left room on the bottom to stash Lili's toys.

Three Weeks to Beautiful!

OK! My sister and I are starting in the living room on Tuesday. We need to start baby-proofing that room anyway because Lili is starting to roll her way around the room and she just can't wait to get her hands on Mommy's breakables! I have been looking all over online and have come up with a few good ideas on how to bring some class and beauty to my home on a next-to-nothing budget. I will take a before and after picture of our project and then those who like it can comment and or suggest new ideas. I have the next three weeks off until the new school year starts and I really want to get the house in order before I go back. Keeping in mind that I rent the trailer I live in I can't paint the walls or anything drastic like that. I would if I could but I did come up with an idea for covering the walls without doing anything permanent. I am going to hang light colored curtains over some ghastly wood panelling in the living room to brighten it up. I am excited about what we will be able to accomplish and I know with my sister's help it will turn out great.(She has always been the organized sister.) Yay! Yay! I can't wait to show you!

When life gets ya down....

Gosh! Keeping things positive is killing me!!! I'm trying to get my life on track and live and be the kind of woman I want to be, but this is getting hard. I have had some very good days but lately the hits just keep on coming. The bills are the most predominant on my mind. Being a school bus driver means that I'm off in the summer. I work a summer school route but that is onlt 9 hours a week. We are barely scraping by this summer and to top it all off the mail just keeps bringing in the bills. This week one got sent to collections and the student loan people are threatening wage garnishments. How do I turn this around and start feeling like I am winning and not failing?
 We are a poor family who barely make ends meat but that doesn't mean I want my family to look or feel that way. I make sure my girls look nice and clean. I have recently decided that just because we are living modestly doesn't mean we have to feel like we are poor. I have found the nicest name brand clothes for my girls from Once Upon a Child. The clothes are in great condition and so many of them are from expensive brands. My girls look great and I have only spent twenty bucks! I just went there and they were having a $1 clearance sale. I bought Lorelai six new outfits! Next I'm going to be working on the house. I have champagne taste on a beer budget but I think I can devise a way to bring high style to my home on a very modest budget. Yes I think I will had that to the list. To start feeling wealthy and then maybe I will bring wealth to me and my family. I will post on what I find.

Ow.. Ow..

I started my workout routine and HOLY COW! Two days later and I can barely walk! My legs are killing me! I know it means that I successfully did the workout but still! I want to keep going . Everytime I do my exercise I feel great! A little piece of me is starting to really feel good about myself.
I let Jose plan our family outing for one day last week. Now I remember why I'm always the one who plans things! He did an ok job but he commented later that night when we were in bed that "it was hard because things kept changing. First one thing comes up and then another." Tee hee! I felt a little joy in that statement. He just doesn't realize the work that can go into a family outing! I have starting writing the next chapter in my book and I am feeling good about getting it done by October! My overall mood has inproved in the last couple of days. I think it is an endorphin high! I just feel happy. And to be honest I haven't been feeling that happy lately. I was having so many dark days that at one point i considered suicide. But my list and my goals have saved me from that selfish act. I know good things will happen in my life because they must. My life is meant to be amazing!

Got my fitness routine!

My best friend has designed a fitness routine for me and I am super excited to get started on it! I have real hope that this is something that I will stick to. The plan seems reasonable and can easily be done in the comfort of my own home. I am very lucky to have people in my life who care about me and are willing to set aside time from their busy lives to help me out in my quest for total health. I have had a tough time with my ex-husband this week and I want to recognize Jose for all he has done to support me. He stands by me and helps me through some of the darkest times I have had and still he loves me unconditionally. He is a testament to what a real man is. Strong and kind, never runs from a problem and is faithful forever. I love him so much! My girls always brighten my day and I love them so much for reminding me that life isn't just stress and bills and work. It's also about imagination and play; two things I don't do very much. I am still having a hard time separating myself from the negative that comes in my life. I let it consume me all too easily and everyday is a struggle against it. But I think as long as I have a strong support system I can beat it.

Red toenail polish

Lorelai and I painted our toenails bright red yesterday. It's nice to spend that time with her. She and I are real girlie girls. We love make up and nail polish. So we went to the store yesterday and bought new nail polish for our toes and fingers and then we plopped ourselves down on the floor and went to work. We had a blast and we are now both ready for flip flops! I made a veggie baked mosticolli this week. Jose couldn't get enough of it. I liked it but my tummy didn't!

Lorelai is my bright shining star. She is so helpful around the house and is so happy all of the time. I love her energy and enthusiasm for almost everything. She is such a special girl. I have decided that I am a good mom. Recent conversations with my ex have confirmed that. He doesn't do whats best for our daughter. And I am always raising the bar for myself and others. She deserves the very best. Sometimes I don't always reach the bar but I think my high standards are no less than what she deserves.

Winning the Battle with me

I had a tough couple of days and I feel like I have been extremely successful in keeping my thoughts positive. I had to have a tough talk with my ex about our daughter but it went surprisingly well. I feel a little renewed. I said what I felt and I didn't shrink back from what I needed to say. Doing things like this make me feel strong. Make me feel like I AM in control of my life and the things that happen to me. I also spent the entire day without any make up on my face. I decided that this should be added to the list. So today i did not put product on my hair or eyeliner on my face. I went au' naturale'! It felt good and when I saw myself in the mirror I tried to think of one positive thing about my self. I always try to cover up my very rosy cheeks. But today they were naked in public! And I thought 'hey i bet some women would kill to have these bright rosy cheeks!' I ran my fingers through my hair and thought how soft it felt and how much I like doing that. (I can't usually because I put a sculpting putty in it) The person I recognize today is my mom. She is always my moral center and my rock. Every time I feel like my world is crumbling around me she picks me up and centers me. The world always makes sense again after I talk to her. I want to be that kind of mom for my girls. I have always admired my mom and as a mom myself I have always tried to emulate her rock solid mothering techniques. The way I see it is 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it!' So thanks Mom for making my world better!

Blue eye shadow and Veggie Pizza

Here is the blue eyeshadow! I spent all day with it on and felt oddly confident about it. I usually don't make bold or dramatic statements with my makeup but this turned out well. The goal for me is to blend in with the crowd usually. I don't want people to look at me or notice me. But I felt like this was a success. We had veggie pizza for dinner from Papa Murpheys. I love their pizza!!! I never thought veggie could be so filling! Doing my makeup today I decided that I really like my eyes. They are one of my favorite features. I saw a woman today who worked at the hair salon I go to to get my hair cut. She is a plus size woman who most would say that needed a change in life style. But the smile on her face and the confidence of her walk and talk made start to think.... here she is in the business of beauty and surrounded by her thin, beautiful counterparts, and she looks more comfortable in her own skin than I could ever hope to be in that situation. I think there is a lesson here. Being comfortable enough with who I am to stand tall and proud even in a room full of thin, blonde beauties. I have never learned to love me. And I think that may be the most important goal I have now. I can't accomplish anything until I learn to love and accept myself. If I don't even do that how can I expect others to?

Pizza Popcorn!

That was the new food I tried today. Jose came home talking about healthier snacks he had seen on the Dr. OZ show. Pizza popcorn and peanut butter banana quesadillas were the two he remembered the most. I normally don't crave sweets when I snack. Give me the savory and salty! So we went with popcorn and it actually tasted like pizza! It was simple to make too! Salt, garlic, paprika, oregano and parmesan cheese. Put in popcorn bag and shake! Yummy!


I got a message from my best friend who I haven't seen in months. She is the person I would like to acknowledge today. She has always been right there for me. Honest and beautiful on the inside and out. She is never quick to judge and has been a person I have looked up to my whole life. (since we were in second grade!) I miss her very much and love her more than that! She may not be a long lost friend, but she is one I have lost time with.  Cori, I miss ya sista!
Which brings me to my positive comment on me. I am trying to be the person I want to be. For so long I have blamed others for why my life has not gone as planned and I realize that taking responsiblity for my life has empowered me. I am in control. I want to be more like my best friend and accept others for who they are and to stop judging them before I know. Tomorrow is a new day! I CAN DO THIS!

Good Day!

It was a good day! I was more active today and conquered a bunch of house work and I felt like I accomplished more today than I have in a long time. I held my baby and rocked her and told her I loved her. My oldest helped me clean the house and I felt a swell of pride at the little lady that she is becoming. My husband was working all day with an injured hand. (He sliced his hand open while tryng to cook over the fourth of July.) I knew it would be a tough day for him so I wanted to have the house clean and dinner waiting for him when he got home. He works so hard for us at a job that doesnt pay him enough, but he goes and makes the best of it, never forgetting that we are lucky for him to even have a full time job. I love him more and more every day. That is number two on the list: say one positive thing about  someone else, my husband is a hard working, loving man who would do anything for us. I also am proud of myself. I completed the goals I had in mind for myself today and made the most of my time! I think tomorrow, since my husband has the day off we will tackle the one new food item. We are going to spend the day together as a family and I think it is the perfect time to try something new as a family. Until then!!!

Day 1

Today is the beginning of an Extreme Makeover! The Katy Aguilar makeover. I am an unfocused 25 year old mother of two, who saw it was time to take my life in my hands and begin an extreme makeover, (sans the hunky carpenters and large tour buses). I live in a tiny town and I live a tiny life. I have never completed a goal I have set for myself and have not had the the drive or the persistance to see anything to it's finality.  I feel my life is missing subtance and I desperately crave richness and happiness. Something I have not yet had the ability or  gumption to acheive. Well, no more! No more Lazy Katy. No more Excuses Katy. No more "wish my life was better" Katy.  I will make my life better! I will stop wishing for things to happen and start making things happen! 

I want more for myself and my family! I want to be an active mom who plays in the yard with my kids, not the slouch I've become on the couch watching TV. I want to start my own buisness and be my own boss, not take orders from people I neither admire or respect. I want to look at myself in the mirror and see the person I see in my mind's eye, not the overweight grump who's always judging me. In order to accomplish all this I have created a list.  These are things that I always tell myself that "one day" I will do. Well, guess what sister, that day is now! And this blog is my record keeper and my cheerleader. I will blog my day to day progress and prove to myself and the world that I can complete anything I put my mind to! Beginning tomorrow the 6th day of July, 2012 ! Here is the the list that I will complete by October 6th, 2012!
1. Say ONE positive thing about myself everyday
2. Say ONE positive thing about someone else everyday
3. Try at least one new food every week
4.Tell my children I love them everyday
5. Begin a fitness routine
6.Prepare a vegitarian only dish once a week.
7. Read one Jane Austen book in it's entirety
8. Host a party or get together for my friends
9. Plan and execute a date night for my husband
10. Begin to learn spanish
11. Contact a long lost friend
12.Start my business plan
13. Wear bright blue eyeshadow
14. Spend one whole day as a blonde
15. Conceptualize and complete one chapter in my book
16.Have a special mother and daughter day with Lorelai
17.Wear a two peice bathing suit to the pool
18.Plan a trip with no destination
19.Let my husband take control of a family outing
20. Bright red lipstick and highheels! We're going dancing!